What do you think about rules? Probably what you feel about rules will differ if you’re a parent or a child. Now, this homily is directed to the parents, so you students don’t have to listen or pay attention. In other words, act normal.
As a general rule, children and teenagers don’t like rules, and the older they get the more they like to test the limits--of the rules and of their parents’ patience. Some parents love to make rules but don’t like to enforce them, in which case the rule quickly becomes ineffective. Other parents get way too much pleasure in punishing the least infraction of a rule just to remind you who’s boss, in which case the rules become oppressive.
Usually there comes a time when a parent makes a rule such as: “Don’t go out after 10” or “Don’t go see that movie” or “Don’t hang out with those students” and when asked why, the answer of frustrated and stressed-out parents is “Because I said so.” Sometimes they add, “As long as you live under my roof, you’ll obey my rules.”
There are problems with this approach. For one, the child starts counting the years, months, weeks and days until they are on their own. And when they do ultimately get a taste of freedom they sometimes get into serious trouble.
Another problem is, in the eyes of the child the parent becomes a bully if not a tyrant. And if you’ve been following the new these past weeks, you realize tyrants usually end badly.
There are different reasons for making rules. The first is for the child’s safety. “Don’t go across the street by yourself” or “always cross at the corner.” The second is for the child’s heath and development. “Get to bed early!” and “Eat your vegetables!” and “Don’t smoke inside the house!” (Okay, I made that up to see who’s paying attention.”
[I do have to share an incident when I was in the sixth grade. In those days they had these “toy” cigarettes: a hollow paper roll with red aluminum foil on one end that looked like it was lit. When you blew on it, a puff of flour came out that looked like smoke. So one day I wanted to see my mother’s reaction to me smoking so I walked in while she was talking with my aunts. She saw me puffing away and said, “Get out of here before you burn a hole in the rug.” I was devastated. I thought she cared more about the rug than she did my health! In the tenth grade I asked my parents if I could smoke. They asked why I wanted to smoke and I said because my friends smoke. My mother said that wasn’t a good enough reason and asked me to wait until I was a senior and if I wanted to start smoking then, I could. Of course, by then, all my smoking friends had emphysema and lung cancer. Not true! I’m seeing who’s paying attention! No, by then peer pressure had lost its hold on me so I never did smoke cigarettes.]
Where was I? Oh yes, and the third reason we make rules is for the child’s character development, to teach them right and wrong, and that our actions, good and bad, have consequences. Share your toys, apologize when you do wrong, help people in trouble.
Rules have reasons, but the day comes when the child grows up and is on his or her own. The parents can only hope and pray that some of the rules of childhood have lead to positive habits as the children become adults.
The same is true of religion. We have Moses and the commandments to guide us and train us to make good decisions, much like the training wheels when learning to ride a bicycle.
St. Paul then removes the training wheels by telling us eternal life is not about obeying laws but by believing in Christ.
Then Christ comes along in today’s gospel and says it not enough just to say we believe, we must act on our faith. We must live like Christians.
This week is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. This is the time to pause and take a hard look at our life. Are we living our beliefs, or do we take our religion off when we get home and put it in the closet until next Sunday?
Have you heard the popular story about the professor who went to class with a large glass jar filled with golf balls? He asked the students if the jar was filled and all agreed it was. Then he poured in some gravel and it filled in all the empty space. Again he asked if it was filled and they said yes. Next he poured in sand but by this time the students were not so quick to answer. Lastly, when it seemed nothing more could be added, he poured n two cups of coffee.
The point of the story is, had he started with the coffee or the sand that would be the end of it. Nothing more could fill the jar. Our lives are sometimes like that. Too often we fill our hearts and minds and lives with little things that do not really matter, and then we have no room for the important stuff.
Lent is a time to empty our jars and start anew. Give up coffee, or alcohol or smoking (things which ultimately do us harm), give up TV or listening to music on your iPod nonstop, things that prevent our minds from resting and thinking, give up all the things which may not be bad in themselves but which we do without thinking. We go through each day of our life on automatic pilot. Never thinking, never really enjoying, never really living. Mindfulness and detachment are our goals in the coming 40 days. Learn to love silence and empty space.
Do acts of kindness for others, help the poor, visit the sick, console those who mourn.
Empty yourself this Lent so that we can refill our souls with nothing less than God.
Ultimately, religion is not about keeping rules but by cultivating a relationship with no one less than Jesus Christ.
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