I had the privilege of studying under Rabbi Asher Finkle when I was a seminarian. Seeing Jesus through Jewish eyes deepened my understanding and love for our religion and for our Lord. Our faith is rooted in the Jewish tradition since Jesus, whom we claim as Lord and Savior of the world, was a devout Jew. Among the other things that come to us through Judaism are belief in one God as creator of all; the goodness of creation, one day of rest in a seven day week; the Old Testament and the Ten Commandments; acknowledging God as a God of justice who loves the poor, and calling God our heavenly Father.
One day Rabbi Finkle explained to us why Jews refer to God as Father and not as Mother. He said a mother’s love is actually stronger than a father’s love because it is instinctive. That is, long before it is born, the baby feels the warmth and protection of its mother while still in the mother’s womb. For nine months the baby hears and feels the comforting beat of the mother’s heart. The mother, too, loves the baby growing within her long before she ever sees her child. Mother and child love each other instinctively before they know each other.
A father’s love, on the other hand, is not instinctive, Rabbi Finkle said. It doesn’t come to us naturally. A father must wait for the child to be born and then he must prove himself through his actions to be a strong, loving, providing and protective man. A father’s love comes only through experience.
The Jews, like most people, do not have an instinctive love of God. Rather, they come to know and believe in God because, throughout their lives and throughout their history, they experienced God as their protector and provider.
Interestingly enough, while we call God our Father because of the Jews and because of Jesus, most of us actually learn about God not so much from our fathers as from our mothers. Mothers not only teach us about religion and prayer, they show us what love, compassion, forgiveness, mercy and sacrifice are all about.
Today throughout the United States we honor all our mothers in a special way. We honor the women who gave us life, when they didn’t have to; who gave us milk from their own bodies; who gave us patient instruction and and maybe sometimes not-so gentle correction.
We also honor the mothers who, as we grew older, drive us absolutely crazy because that’s what mothers do best. We honor the mothers who, as they grow older, fill us with frustration and dread as we realize the day will come when they would no longer be with us.
One of the fondest memories I have of my mother was back in 1970 when I was a college senior at Albany State. It was during the Vietnam war and I had a low draft number. My friend Mike Lynch had enlisted in the army earlier that year and before he himself got killed in the war he sent us a letter saying, “Do whatever you have to do to stay out of this war.”
That meant I had two choices: go to Canada or go to jail. So I asked my parents what I should do. You know what my mother said? “Go to jail.” Do you know why? “Because,” she said, “if you go to Canada I’ll never see you but if you got to jail I can visit you all the time.”
So I did go to jail on March 19, 1970 for blocking the draft board in Albany. I wasn’t behind bars more than four hours when my parents came and paid the fine to get me out. That’s when I learned just how frustrating mothers can be. I ended up serving my country by joining the Peace Corps and teaching English in Korea, a decision which led me to join Maryknoll and resulted in my being here with you today. All this because my mother refused to let me play with toy guns as a child!
All my life I dreaded the day when my mother would no longer be with me. When she died in 2002 at the age of 94, amid the tears I felt a profound peace, and among the sadness a profound gratitude. On the day she died I felt she was actually closer to me and my sister than she had even been before. When she was pregnant with us, she carried us within her body. Now that she had died, we carried her within our hearts.
Sometimes it takes death and absence for the heart to appreciate what love is really all about.
And this is what Jesus prepares us for in today’s gospel. The disciples had already experienced the nightmare of his crucifixion and death. Their hearts were overflowing with inexpressible joy at his resurrection. Now Jesus tells them he is going away again, not to abandon them or leave them as orphans but so they can mature in faith. That emptiness they will feel at his absence will again be only temporary. That emptiness will be filled by the Holy Spirit and then Jesus will seem more present and alive than he ever did before, because now he will be alive in them.
And so on this Mother's Day we give thanks and praise to God the Father for the women through whom we received life and love. We give thanks to Jesus for showing us the way to the Father. And we give thanks today to our mothers for teaching us about life and love and faith and Jesus.
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